It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so explain again why im purple
no
Four minutes until I can fart!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
