I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
