almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize