I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
