I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
