New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize