I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
