They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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