it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Randomize
