Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
