weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
