Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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