Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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