My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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