i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize