ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
