So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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