he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
