please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
