just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize