he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
my being single is dangerous.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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