You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
As shirtless as possible
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
