Your tits are I can't wait for
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I could make wine with my vomit
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
