somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
