Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize