how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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