He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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