i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
