yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
zippers are such a cool invention
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
