Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
