Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
