so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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