i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
