he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
false alarm. still invincible.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
