You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
