I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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