I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
