the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
