North Korea, Best Korea!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
