i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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