i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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