Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
