loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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