My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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