never play flip cup with pint glasses
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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