We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
