I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize
