I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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