ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
