i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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