I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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