Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Even my vagina gasped.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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