I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
