Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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