tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
