omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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