so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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